While in New York recently I got the chance to see an old friend and we ended up shopping. He needed clothes for work and I was more than happy to go along and add my two cents about what he should buy. My friend Steve is not a “shopper”; he’s a handsome, masculine, “guy’s” guy with an athletic build and no fashion sense. Like a lot of men he doesn’t care much what he wears and prefers a uniform of tee shirts, jeans and a baseball cap-great look if you’re twenty-something (which he isn’t, he hasn’t seen twenty for about twenty years or more).
After wandering around a bit window-shopping we found ourselves in a Chelsea Men’s Boutique where I convinced him to try on some dress shirts. The fit was perfect and he looked great in them. I talked him into buying two shirts (on sale two for $75.00 (reg $85.00 each). Since he isn’t a “shopper” he surprised me when he said, “watch me get these cheaper.”
I was surprised he knew to not just pay what was being asked but I didn’t say anything, lingering in the background behind the new Spring fashions observing it all.
So, imagine my surprise when I heard his deep, baritone voice from across the room as he reached the cashier, pulled out what looked like a wad of cash from his jean’s pocket and said, “Fifty bucks-take it or leave it!”
The cashier, standing next to another clerk (or the manager/owner of the small boutique I suspected) smiled, shook his head and politely said, “No.”
Not to be deterred Steve kept offering, “to take the shirts off their hands” and say things like, “Hey, look, fifty dollars is better than no sale at all.” On and on he went with no success, the cashier politely refusing to entertain each offer, as Steve’s voice grew louder and his laugh more desperate.
I stood to the side, surprised and horrified. Since he announced to me that he was going to get the shirts at a reduced price with such confidence I just assumed he knew that he was doing-but no, but no.
He made every rookie mistake in haggling that you can make and he did them all in one unsuccessful attempt and I couldn’t wait to get him out of the store so that I could tell him so.
The exchange ended with neither party willing to budge from their position, the cashier saying the sale price was a good deal and Steve (who’d long ago lost his smile and “joking” attitude”) becoming angry that he wasn’t getting what he wanted so he finally said, “Fine, your loss” left the shirts on the counter an walked back out onto the busy street empty handed.
When I caught up to him down the block I felt it my “duty” to “school” him on where he went wrong.
“Are you kidding me?” I said, stopping him at the corner from crossing the street so I could make my point, “you don’t do that, you don’t just waltz up in that booming voice of yours and say “fifty bucks” like you’re doing him some fat fucking favor.”
Steve (to his credit) didn’t flip me off and stood there while I went off “educating him”.
“What you did was insult the guy-not negotiate with him.”
“What was all that “’I’ll take them off your hands crap” and “you haven’t made a sale today anyway” stuff ?”
“First of all-you’ve got to leave the guy some dignity and at the end of the transaction you’ve got to each walk away with your balls attached. All you did was act like an alpha male and piss all over him like you were a dog marking his territory with your “offer”.
Steve reminded me very much of myself when I first learned how to haggle.
When I was a teenager I went to a flea market for the first time, saw something that I liked and knew that haggling was part of the experience (I think I’d read it in a book or seen it in a movie) but I’d never done it before.
I remember going to the lady whose booth it was and saying, “I’ll give you x amount for this item.”
She took the item out of my hand and said in reply, “Young man, you will not “give” me anything. If you’d like for me to consider reducing the price you’d better learn how to ask in the right way.”
Then she proceeded to teach me how to negotiate in a way that was polite, respectful and would engage the owner instead of turning him off.
I’ll always be grateful to that lady and I remember it often whenever I’m trying to negotiate. So, as I stood on the street corner with Steve I told him that story and said I hoped he’d go back and try again-he didn’t.
But, that’s okay, he may try next time or not but at least now he knows there’s a different way to try to get what he wants (at a cheaper price) and it’s his choice if he wants to avail himself or not.
TyTIP: I always found that when you want something from someone approaching them with politeness and kindness goes a lonnng way, not just in haggling but in life, too
TyTIP: Always negotiate one on one with the owner/manager/cashier and not in front of other customers (so as to not give them the same idea and cause a stampede of copycat hagglers where there were none) and if the owner/manage/cashier are on their own they may be more willing to work with you if there are no witnesses or someone to “remind” them of store policy that might not be in your best interest.
TyTIP: There are those other situations in haggling where you can point out something that is defective, thus increasing your chances of a discount.
TyTIP: You can wait till the eleventh hour when they’re just about ready to close up shop and leave to haggle, chances are they are might be more receptive to the idea of a taking less money for an item with the added inducement of not having to pack it up and take it home or carry the inventory their shop one more day.
Ty Tips:Luxury living for less 